Baghdad betting

You won’t find many British punters willing to risk £50 on England beating West Indies following their calamitous collapse on Saturday. But clearly the debacle hasn’t affected clients’ confidence overseas, even one torn to shreds by war.

“We have taken just one £50 wager for England to beat the West Indies, from an internet client with a Baghdad address,” said a spokesman for the bookmakers William Hill. “I suppose compared with some of the problems affecting that part of the world, England's current cricketing plight is somewhat trivial.”

So there you have it. The only country in the world who has any confidence in England's cricket team is Iraq. Friends, at last.