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The Heavy Ball

'Time for some dinner!'

If you're ever caught without a watch, our Twitter round-up will help you plan your day

Alex Bowden
09-May-2013
"How many exclamation marks should I use when I tweet about this conversation?"  •  Getty Images

"How many exclamation marks should I use when I tweet about this conversation?"  •  Getty Images

Who says that cricketers on Twitter spend all their time making feeble jokes, congratulating team-mates or expressing mindless positivity, regardless of whether their team has won or lost? Every now and again, they also talk about cake or wine. Then they swiftly return to the mindless positivity - almost all of which can be summarised as either "We'll bounce back" or "Told you we'd bounce back."
The eating disorder
Andre Russell has developed a nasty affliction.
Sounds like you're either applying the cake to the wrong part of your head or you're not timing insertion so as to coincide with when your mouth is open. Practise in front of a mirror.
The adjective
Zaheer Khan wouldn't have much success with his new venture were he to launch it in the UK.
How about "TOSS sports lounge - it isn't as bad as we make it sound"?
The bourgeoisie
Scott Styris's daughter has a decent vocabulary.
The question
Steven Finn wants answers.
The perspective
Wayne Parnell has some wise words for those of us who are struggling.
Are you telling us to purchase overturned tortoises? How will that help?
The positivity
Wasim Akram's confident.
Pretty sure the Champions' Trophy isn't just a positivity competition. Pretty sure there's some cricket involved as well.
The cliché
Harbhajan Singh's feeling positive too.
That rather depends on how much ground you've already surrendered. No one's impressed with a sprint finish when everyone else has already packed up and gone home.
The measure of success
Kemar Roach will show them.
Noble sentiments.
The exclamation
I'm still spotting inappropriate exclamation mark usage on IPL Twitter feeds even though no one else cares.
No genuine exclamation has ever contained that many clauses.
Life with Kemar Roach
Travel, meteorology, existential crises, training and nutrition - Kemar Roach covers everything.
Nando's Watch
Ramnaresh Sarwan's keeping it real.

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket