Sledges, sandpaper and selective amnesia

Ponting slaps his own wrist
Breaking team rules would usually earn a player a stern rebuke from the captain. But what happens when the skipper can't follow his own instructions? After Australia beat England, Ricky Ponting explained that Kevin Pietersen's name had come up in a team meeting and the consensus was that KP was less vulnerable to sledging than most other opponents. The Aussies felt that a verbal assault on Pietersen might actually spur him on, so Ponting's orders were that "if he starts something let him go". But after Pietersen aired his views on Glenn McGrath's bowling things did not go according to plan. "As soon as he started I could not help myself," Ponting said. "I jumped all over the top of him. It wasn't great leadership as far as I was concerned but I am not sorry I did it." At least Ponting's judgment was right; the sledging did fortify the resolve of Pietersen, who went on to make 104.

Selective amnesia?
Inzamam-ul-Haq was under pressure from Pakistan's National Assembly to explain why Mushtaq Ahmed was appointed as assistant coach for the World Cup, despite the Justice Qayyum inquiry report recommending Mushtaq should not be given any senior position. Inzamam's response was that he would not have pushed for Mushtaq to get job had he been aware of the Qayyum stance. An interesting defence, given that both Inzamam and Mushtaq were fined as a result of the inquiry.

Sandpaper Key's performance indicator
As ball-tampering aids go, sandpaper is not the most subtle option. But that's what Kent's Robert Key used to rough up one side of the ball in a pre-season friendly against Nottinghamshire. He justified his actions by saying it was only a practice match and he would never do the same thing in a first-class fixture. "The way the game is moving forward for bowlers nowadays is through reverse swing, so what we've tried to do throughout our pre-season nets was to get brand new balls, sandpaper one side, and let the boys practise bowling," Key said. "It actually goes really well." Key wanted to see what his bowlers were capable of but presumably Nottinghamshire also wanted to see what their batsmen could do - without the odds being stacked against them. The two local umpires and Mick Newell, Nottinghamshire's coach, said they saw nothing but would have asked questions of Key if they had.

ECB gets the Bird
If you can count to six and hold a hat and a jumper you're qualified to be an umpire these days. At least, that's what Dickie Bird would have us believe. The ECB has given county players the right to refer decisions to the third umpire in the Friends Provident Trophy, which Bird said was "a very sad day for cricket". "If players are allowed to challenge an umpire's decision, all you have left is a man who counts six balls in an over and a glorified hat stand," he said. But Bird, who umpired 66 Tests and 69 ODIs, claims he is not a Luddite. "I was not totally opposed to the introduction of technology to help with line decisions - run-outs and stumpings - but I was worried it would be the thin end of the wedge," he said.

Row no-show an England low
Another day, another Australian victory - this time without a ball being bowled. Sir Steve Redgrave, the five-time Olympic rowing gold medallist, was in Barbados and both Australia and England wanted him to address their players with words of inspiration. He chose to talk to Australia first. "He spoke about the expectation of being a favourite, continually raising the bar, having the attitude of being a winner and preparing to win consistently," an Australian team spokesman said. Presumably Redgrave has a couple of versions of the speech, as such advice would hardly be appropriate for England.

Scotland, the professional amateurs
Excessive drinking, a "holiday camp" atmosphere and not taking the game seriously. That's not a supporters' tour of the Caribbean, that's Scotland's World Cup campaign, according to the media. As a result, Cricket Scotland are considering whether to allow WAGs - players' wives and girlfriends - on future tours. Craig Wright, the captain, said he was embarrassed after the side's heavy loss to Netherlands and it has now emerged that Scotland players were seen drinking the night before the game. "The guys prepared thoroughly for the tournament and whatever they decide to do to unwind 36 to 48 hours before a game is entirely up to them," Ryan Watson, the new Scotland captain, said. "It's an entirely different scenario to the England squad, who were out to four in the morning. It was just a few guys going for a drink after a game. It was never an all-night session - we're far too professional for that."

It's only a game
On a more sombre note, a teenage spectator in Kolkata was bludgeoned to death by a player at a local cricket match, according to police. Rabinath Ash, 17, was attacked with a stump when he tried to prevent an assault on his younger brother. It seems a fight began when the batting side was on the verge of victory and insisted on continuing with play despite the fading daylight. The victim's brother, who was batting at the time, came under attack from a fielder and when Ash tried to step in he received a blow to the head that led to his death. Police said an arrest had been made over the incident.

Still overpriced?
Even the most loyal of Trinidad and Tobago's Indian fans might have baulked at the $40 price-tag for Indian replica World Cup jerseys after the team's early exit, so the cost has been slashed by half. A spokesman for the nation's major sporting store, Sports and Games, said replica West Indies tops were not in the bargain bin just yet. Cricket hats for all countries, however, have been cut from $16 to $10 - after all, why would anybody need sun protection in the Caribbean?

Quotehanger
"I'm not sure how long England will last in the World Cup, but I would be disappointed if players aren't available for their counties." Shane Warne, the Hampshire captain, shows his sympathetic side