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Andrew Flintoff: "I'd make a rubbish celebrity"
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I currently feel like a kid at Christmas time. A kid on Boxing Day, to be
precise. Everything I have ever wanted, and more, has suddenly been
delivered in one big jingle-belled parcel, and frankly it's all a little
overwhelming. An Ashes victory, and the greatest Test series of all time,
all in the same wrapping-paper? What more can there possibly be to look
forward to?
I'm not alone in feeling slightly wistful either. At Lord's on Tuesday, as
scores of cricket-crazed camera crews scrambled for whatever pound of
flesh they could get their hands on, both Matthew Hoggard and Ashley Giles
were facing up to the first days of the rest of their lives. "Apparently
I'm not in control of my time anymore," muttered Hoggard, as he was
buffeted from one interview to the next. "It'll be good to get back to
normality," echoed Giles. "If there is a normality, that is ."
Welcome to the graceless world of celebrity stardom. As the cricket season
winds down and autumn takes hold, England's heroes - for that is what they
are, nothing less - can expect a wearying round-robin of guest appearances
and supermarket openings, so much so that the prospect of reconvening as a
team in November and fleeing en masse for Pakistan will never have seemed
more appealing.
Some - well, okay, one, ie Kevin Pietersen - will lap up every drop of the
attention that comes his way. Others, such as Hoggard and Giles, Steve
Harmison and Andrew Flintoff, will probably feel rather less at ease in
the spotlight. As Flintoff slurred to the nation, during an heroic
post-Ashes bender that demonstrated everything that is good and noble
about the ancient art of binge-drinking: "I'd make a rubbish celebrity."
Amen to that, because Flintoff and his team-mates have achieved something
this summer that transcends mere talkshows. In the final year before
cricket disappears from British terrestrial TV - and by implication, from
British mainstream consciousness - they have delivered the biggest
performance of their lives, at precisely the moment the game most needed
their talents to be showcased. In a society that is currently obsessed
with the preening, self-serving worlds of football and reality TV,
England's cricketers have captivated the nation with a bit of old-school
heroism.
Suffice to say, the bean-counters at the England & Wales Cricket Board who
struck the deal with Sky have been incredibly jammy. Cricket may never
again touch the heights that it has done this summer, but it has done
enough, through the skill and tenacity of two incredibly charismatic
teams, to maintain a sound footing for the next four years at least. The
spontaneity of the team's celebrations merely added to the charm of the
occasion. Twelve ordinary mates enjoying the days of their lives with
100,000 wellwishers helping to kickstart the party. As reality TV goes,
the events of the past 72 hours beat seven bells out of Big Brother, and
the contrived euphoria of one of their so-called eviction nights.
Big Brother has always been a particular bug-bear of mine. To put it
mildly, I detest it and everything it stands for. The only reason I
haven't firebombed the offices of Endemol, the evil corporation that came
up with the shameless concept, is that they are situated three floors up
from my desk at Wisden Towers, and I don't much fancy getting showered
with charred egos.
And yet, cricket and reality TV have more in common than I'd care to
admit, which is probably what fuels my resentment. The bottom line is that
both can be incredibly demanding of one's time, particularly in the summer
months when, in all honesty, you'd often be better served leaving the
house and enjoying the weather while it lasts.
This summer, however, the cricket has been an event in which the entire
nation has shared. Thrilling, compelling, and lasting for months, the
fanatics have not allowed themselves to blink, but the fringe fans have
been able to dip in and out - in the papers, on the internet at work, in
the pub and back at home - without losing sight of the narrative. Test
cricket used to be in danger of extinction because nobody had the time to
get to grips with it, but this summer it has been all the rage precisely
because it appeals to the casual participant.
In many ways this shouldn't come as a surprise. Character development,
regular evictions and sporadic excitement were the staple diet of any
cricket fan foolish enough to tune in during the 1990s. Never mind
pressing the red button or texting EVICT to the England dressing-room; all
you needed to do was get up from your seat to make a cup of tea, and you
could guarantee that Mike Atherton would fall next ball.
But what has come as a surprise, even to those who are devoted to the
game, has been the sustained nature of this summer's drama. The final day
of the Old Trafford Test was witnessed by 8.4 million viewers, not to
mention the thousands of ticketless fans who had to be turned away at the
gates. For all the belief that football is a Leviathan by contrast,
Chelsea's Champions' League fixture on Tuesday attracted a TV audience of
half the size, and a gate of 65% capacity. It's all about the action,
regardless of the game.
And yet, for all the Ashes excitement, cricket will never begin to rival
football's prestige and popularity, which is why the humility and good
humour of England's cricketers has touched such a chord with the country.
One only need glance at the sodden one-day debacle between Hampshire Hawks
and Glamorgan Dragons that took place in Cardiff on the day after the Oval
Test, to realise a fundamental truth about the game. There is a whole load
of humdrum in the life of a professional cricketer, which makes their days
in the limelight all the more enjoyable. Flintoff and friends will shrink
from the front pages soon enough, but the entire country should be
grateful for the legacy they've left behind.
Andrew Miller is UK editor of Cricinfo